Happy little features. You've got to find an excuse
to make your escape. Just try that at your local car dealership or jeweler or Best
Buy.
And you can't charge nine dollars for three tater
tots and a glob of Hunt's ketchup.
Especially if she also could scratch her ears with
her feet or sniff my crotch at inappropriate times. By the time it's my turn, all
the good upshawl and walker-on-walker shots are already gone. Just because I'm
taking first crack at assigning names doesn't mean it won't come back to me
eventually.
Frankly, I'm surprised with every day that goes by
that it doesn't erupt into a bout of granny flinging.
But I could barely look them in the eye as we shook
hands afterward. Being rapped across the knuckles is painful enough. Toss old ladies
around until one of them ponies up some change.
Maybe they're all coloring books and pop-up picture
stories. Frankly, I'm surprised with every day that goes by that it doesn't erupt
into a bout of granny flinging. In the outfield, it was 'Bimbo', 'Slick', and
'Nails'. Can you be sentenced to boo-boo kissing?
It's the restaurant's job to offer thirty or forty
kinds of tiny little dishes, and give them names that are largely unpronouncable for
anyone born north of Juarez.
I can barely see without my contacts; the first
time I tried lighting the fireplace and accidentally set the dog on fire, I'd have
to swear off using my power forever. And since those have had the same null effect
as the first set, I'm back again for round three. When you live the way I do,
epiphanies have a way of getting buried under the clutter on your desk.
Or at the very least, don't include the word
'booger'.
Maybe I'm driving too close to the retirement
homes.