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A comedic book has just been released!
A comedic book has just been released!
26 Nov 2002 21:49:38 -0500
About the book
As online dating becomes more popular and widely practiced, few remember or
are aware of the early days. Cosmo Fox takes you back to the early online
dating days where profiles were vague and pictures were scarce. Dating
online back in the early to mid 90s was about as predictable as a Tyson
boxing match. You didnt know what was going to happen when you showed up.
Enclosed and bound in this book are twenty true tales that will leave you
laughing hysterically. Every paragraph is chock full of fun filled
excitement for the whole family. Cosmo gives tips on relationships and
guides you through the pitfalls and hazards of blind dates and finding love
on the Internet.
Before I dive into this story lets paint a scenario. You are a woman that
is forty plus in age and you would like to date younger men. There is
nothing wrong with this, stay young Miss Thing, work your magic. Shake it
like its the thing to do. There is only one rule with this. You cant
trick younger men into trying to date you. Just be honest, put your real
age on your profile and there are plenty of younger men out there who like
older women and will see your profile and contact you. Putting down that
you are thirty or younger so you can get into that profile search of
thirty-nine and under just so you can squeeze yourself into young mens
searches is wrong. Just put your real age and young men that like to date
older women will track you down - trust me. I would also make this
recommendation for older men but I know the old bastards wouldnt listen to
me. Rumplestiltsken, open up your little troll heart and mind to new ideas
and reality. Women are more reasonable and if I explain it to them
rationally, I know they will listen. Trying to convince an old man that he
is over the hill and little Miss Hottie REALLY doesnt want to have
anything to do with him goes right through his left ear, hops over his pea
brain and jumps right through the right ear. I am not even going to waste
my time pimp daddy plaid pants. I know it happens constantly everyday and
Ive heard it a zillion times from women that Ive dated from online. They
all have stories of how some guy that was so old he sat behind Moses in the
third grade, emailed them and wanted to take them out. I met a woman at a
party and asked her to meet me for a first date at a coffee shop. I get to
the coffee shop and there is a 79-year-old man ALL OVER this girl that I am
meeting. I walk in, and literally he is right in the middle of inviting her
(and he is very serious - you know how old people are, they are sincere
about everything) to go and meet him on a nude beach in San Diego (Blacks
Beach) and he wants to show her his etchings. Huh??? Beat it Father Time!
Before I call the retirement home and tell that beefy nurse that runs the
place that you are violating curfew.
Im living in San Francisco. This woman emailed me and wanted to chat by
phone right away. Could be a bad sign. So I give her my number and within
three minutes of the conversation she is talking about what undergarments
she is wearing. And she thought I wanted to know because? I agree to have
dinner with her the next day at an Indian restaurant. I was on my guard
because this is the first time I have ever talked to a woman and all she
talked about was s$x. Very unusual for a woman, a lot of men may just eat
that up, but let me tell you, if a woman is talking a bunch of s$x within
the first five minutes of talking with her, beware. The restaurant is
supposed to be the best Indian restaurant in the city. After I hang up, I
check out the profile again
ok, shes 32, young professional, no picture
(as usual) but she looks ok on paper.
First, we agree to meet at Starbucks before we go to the Indian restaurant.
She described herself as blonde and short. I see a blonde, short woman walk
into Starbucks. She looks a little older than 32, but hey, people have told
me that I look older than my age. Belinda introduces herself and we walk
over to the Indian restaurant. The very first thing out of her mouth is
Ok, I need to tell you something.
Remember, if you meet an online date, and the very first thing out their
mouth is I need to tell you something, stand up, politely excuse
yourself, walk out the front door, get in your car and drive away quickly
(screaming is optional). So, me being dumb and naïve, I say, What? She
says, I put in my profile that I was 32, but ACTUALLY I am 42.
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