[Gzz] 1st round of comments for hemppah

[Tuomas Lukka]

1 Introduction
--------------

Low-level
.........

"noteworthy" -- you probably mean "considerable".

participants -> the participants

How do participants "form a distributed system"?

interoperability = "eri systeemi toimivat yhdessä"? Selitä

"againts" -> against

(e.g., single point of failure) ? Is that a kind of fault?

Most notably -- according to whom? Reference?

identical -- probably "similar", as identical is very strong.
 Not everyone has just the same computer &c.

responsabilities -> responsibilities

Why is "peer" italicized even though you don't really 
define the term?

"each participant" -> "all participants"

"infracstructure" -> "infrastructure"

Medium-level
............

Lot of waffling in the two first paragraphs.
Aim for 50% reduction. Which words are necessary to really
convey the things you're talking about?

Low-level
.........

One of ... properties ... are efficient... and ....
        -- plural or singular mismatch

In this thesis... -- both the preceding one and this one
            are empty sentences, a truism and waffling.

In the end -- is this the end of the thesis itself? No. But
            you make the reader mistake this to be it, and
            in the next paragraph: "Oh, it *didn't* end?"

Easy-to-understand -- don't brag. It's enough to say
            you discuss them, mentioning the tables here
            is unnecessary.

Fenfire: the xanalogical storage model is in Alph

Essential part -- waffling again

We discover: urgh... this would be better to be said without
            the personal modifier, and possibly not here

"most comprehensive" -- bragging. Better:
            We attempt/have attempted 
            to comprehensively summarize ...

Genuine publications? Is this a fake one? "Original work"
            or "references"...

Research problems
-----------------

Medium-level
...........

What are the two subsections doing here?
You just covered most of the ground, why are you repeating
parts of it.

Either stick to the non-sectioned chapter or make the sections
have more meat, but now the structure is off-balance.

What's fenfire related data?
What's a scroll block's identifier?

You're using a lot of terms that haven't been defined yet.
Would be better to postpone this to the section after
you've introduced the general stuff about fenfire.


Low-level
.........

Third problem: *ALL* data on given dates? That's a LOT!

Thesis overview
---------------

We had this, didn't we?

Key differences = differences between cryptographic key lengths?
        Either say "between them", or just leave it out:
        if you really give an overview, you're *expected*
        to give the differences.

Propose system model: 1) missing an article, 2) what's a system model?

Simple algorithms to perform data lookups: weren't these
        already in existing P2P algorithms?

        Your algorithms are related to fenfire, right?
        In that case, you should probably mention it ;)

In addition... : Waffle.

High-level
----------

You waffle a lot about P2P but don't even explain *what*
fenfire is in this section, just that it "implements the 
xanalogical storage model", which is not true ;)